MEN AND BAKING
Before I left for home, a female friend of mine got pretty angry about men and baking. In her most serious face, she sternly expressed her disgust for men who bake cakes, cookies, brownies, etc. Bread? Nope. Like a mother admonishing a child for kicking a kitten, she laid it down that men who bake are unattractive, unmasculine, and generally unsexy.
I can sorta see what she's suggesting. I mean, unless you're removing 350 degree baking sheets with your bare hands, eating footlong eclairs (filled with STEAK) in one swallow, and baking huge loafs of french bread that don't even compare to the size of your own dick, then I can't see how men can be sexy while baking. Not even kneading dough shirtless seems to evoke manliness.
Whenever I go stir crazy at home, I start baking things. In the two-month layover between the end of school and the time I left to study abroad, I got so bored and anxious that I baked a couple batches of cookies, hand mixing the dough just to make it last longer. This summer, I watched way too much Food Network and made a whole shitload of Paula Deen's Pine Bark (link forthcoming) for nearly everyone I knew. In fact, I was so proud of myself for making that Pine Bark that I started making it for special occasions and parties.
Now, was I being unmasculine and unsexy? In some ways, perhaps. But, you have to understand that simple, "found" recipes like Pine Bark (which is just melted shit on top of saltine crackers) fall within the range of "manly" concoctions -- characteristically classless, easy to do, and messy as fuck to make. So in that sense, I was being very masculine in my baking pursuits.
But apparently cooking fish is masculine, according to the same friend. I think my skills at roasting salmon counteract what little unmasculinity there might be in making Pine Bark. Again, Oslec ends up sexier than you. Just wait 'till I cook salmon shirtless.